The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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