She is in my trunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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