Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Text me some of your sweat
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