U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize