this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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