your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
