I just cut my nipple shaving
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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