maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
