Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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