You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Farmville is her only friend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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