Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
