question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize