You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
