I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
