so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
