bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You are a genius and a whore.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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