i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
