shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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