You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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