Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its about making memories worth repressing
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
