yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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