Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
There r osticjed everywhere
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
