I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
bring money and cleavage
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
