Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize