I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize