hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The uberlube is also flammable
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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