If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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