I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
