Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
