I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
