Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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