My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just got carded by a ten year old.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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