I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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