it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
