I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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