i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
