my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
