Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
