So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
