I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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