Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
