I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
