i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
