i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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