It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
