So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I want to make a zoo with you.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
