I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize