my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I will pee on everything he values.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
