I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
