you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
