Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
