spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize