can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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