I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
