Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
