she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
