I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
