Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
